jc

It's time to top up my Mini Cash ISA, so I go to the web site to do so. The form wants my client reference number, which is a long string of digits I can never remember; I only see it in paper communications from the company, never through e-mail. Safari refuses to autofill the form, so I'm left with two options: rake around for buried letters, or try and phone up and have somebody tell me. I choose the latter option.

A vague-sounding girl answers the phone, and I explain my situation, explicitly stating that I'd like a reminder of my client reference number. She says fine, but she'll need to go through a few security questions with me first. She asks me my client reference - oh, sorry, my postcode. What's my full name. What's my post- oh, sorry, the first line of my address. What's my date of birth. And finally, what's my national insurance number (?!).

Security questions cleared, she continues, "and what can I do to help you today?" I sense trouble.

For the third time, I remind her, "I'd like a reminder of my client reference number, please."

She replied, verbatim: "I'm sorry sir, we're not allowed to give out client reference numbers over the phone."

Please excuse me while I go bang my head on the wall a few times before I rake around for a letter.