CAPS LIKE WHOA (jc) wrote,

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The plan

appleturns reports, in its own impeccable style:
[ ... ] Consider this: the 12- and 17-inch PowerBooks were introduced on January 7th, making them nearly eight months old. In high tech terms, that's older than dirt. But what about the 15-incher, which is still wearing titanium (oh, how gauche) and doesn't even support AirPort Extreme yet? That sucker hasn't been touched since November 7th, making it almost ten months old, and therefore older than dirt's Grampy Jessup.

[ ... ] In our eyes, there is no conceivable way that Apple would voluntarily have left these products alone for so long, particularly after channel-clearing price cuts way back in early June, and especially in the so-called "Year of the Notebook." Until we hear otherwise, we can now believe unflinchingly in the "Motorola never shipped the chips and thereby reduced Steve Jobs to a raving pottymouth" reports that surfaced a few weeks back.

[ ... ] And since we're now firmly convinced that Apple can't budge until Motorola figures out where the heck it left those G4s it was supposed to mail to Apple (check behind the sofa!), any predictions as to when the PowerBooks will finally show up would actually be predictions of when Motorola might suddenly become... well, "competent" might be too harsh a word. So, "competent."

[ ... ] Then again, an earnings warning and the ensuing stock plummet is always good for at least a solid week's worth of drama, so we're covered either way. Especially since, if the protracted scarcity of new G4 processors will nuke Apple's quarterly revenue badly enough to warrant an earnings warning, you just know Uncle Steve's going to pay a little visit to Motorola headquarters with a big, scary axe.
Meanwhile, in the very next scene:
Personally, we have a feeling that these long-rumored PowerBook updates (when they finally surface in the year 2525) will be minor enough-- yes, even the 15-incher's induction into the Hall of Aluminum-- that normally they'd probably just get a press release; we doubt they'd warrant the full-blown Steve treatment what with the "one more thing" and the products magically rising out of the stage floor and the intro video with Jon Ive and Phil Schiller and whichever random celebrity Apple was able to lure into the studio that day with a Twinkie on a string. That sort of stuff is usually reserved for the big changes: new enclosures, new processors, an all-new menu with a wider selection of appetizers (try the Blooming Onion!), etc.

However, given that the term "noodle juice" was still in widespread use the last time these products were refreshed, circumstances might necessitate a little more of a to-do, just to get the new gear back into the public eye. A Stevenote might be just the ticket-- and, as faithful viewer Michael McKinney pointed out, Macworld UK reports that El Stevo will indeed be handling his usual keynote duties at Paris's Apple Expo in three weeks' time. (This shouldn't come as any particular surprise, since we're pretty sure he's done every Apple Expo keynote since at least 1998, but the fact that every Mac site on the planet is reporting this as if it were some sort of mindblowing revelation just shows how slow the news has been this week.)

Anyway, if your spirit hasn't been so crushed underfoot that you can still assume that new PowerBooks just might be ready sometime within the next three weeks, Apple Expo might indeed be an ideal venue at which to cry havoc and let slip the 'Books of war. Granted, it's slightly uncommon for Apple to introduce new hardware at the Paris show (heck, a couple of years ago the company even sent out a press release warning fans not to get their hopes up), but it has happened before; remember the bigger-disk Pismos and the FireWire iBooks in 2000? So, provided that Motorola will have finally figured out how to make more than one G4 processor at a time by then (to Motorola's credit, not many companies take the time and care to whittle each chip by hand anymore), Steve might have a new trio of PowerBooks to trot out in Paris. In fact, while he's at it, why not intro the speed-bumped iMacs as well? And the G5 Xserve?

Aw, heck... it's the City of Lights, so we say Apple should just update everything for one massive Paris blowout. Dual-processor eMacs! iBooks with 17-inch screens! Anodized Power Macs in Think Pink, Electric Blue, and Mr. Yuck Green! iPods that can be fitted nasally! C'mon, Apple, you've got three whole weeks; how hard can it be?
Ignoring the entertaining hyperbole in all of that, the gist is that something big will happen at the Paris Expo in mid-September, and the PowerBook line hasn't been updated in so long now that upgrades must happen before too long.

I was thinking about polling you guys on the best course of action, but I've decided that I'm prepared to wait until the Paris Expo before making a purchasing decision, especially considering the financing promotion doesn't expire until September 30th.

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