"Hi, can I help you?" said the polite Quicken representative, smiling. I was relieved they didn't send a guy with a cane this year. I feel guilty fucking with guys with canes, and just because they have a cane doesn't mean there is something wrong with their arms.
"Yes, I was wondering if you could give me some suggestions on where my wife might buy paperbacks."
"Excuse me," he said, still smiling.
"The problem is paperbacks all cost $6.99. She can't buy paperbacks from the same store twice because when Quicken downloads transactions it matches them to transactions from the same store, even if the other transactions have a different date or are cleared."
"Ah," he said, still smiling. "We just fixed that."
"You can download an update to Quicken 2004 and it will take care of that."
"Great," I said, trying to get back in the groove. "I look forward to not driving thirty miles to rent videos."
Just like that he had stolen my rant. I talked to him for a few minutes, and all the time he was cool. I hate that, so I headed over to Microsoft.